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THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT YOUR MAC, so stop dick-riding.  You sound like an idiot.

Now I know how it is once you’re in the cult, it’s hard to admit that a Mac is just a regular-ass computer with an Intel processor and Unix based operating system.  Especially after you’ve spent all of that money on one.  Plus all the people on tv that tell you to buy a mac look so jovial and spunky.  And that’s where they hide their deepest secret, with one man in particular at the center of the current Apple ad campaign.  To truly understand the Macintosh, we must first delve deeper into the inner workings of… the iBro

Sorry, but I just can’t shop exclusively at The Gap for the rest of my life.  I mean just look at him, he’s charming but not “hot”.  He’s different but not “scary”.  He’s colorful but not “vibrant”.  He’s smart but not a “genius”.  He’s everything and nothing at the same time, just enough that _______________(fill in the blank) can identify with him, but won’t get scared.  PEOPLE EAT THIS SHIT UP!  Fucking lame.  He’s like the exact opposite of me:

I’m too much of a self-absorbed dick, and not so into pleasing people.  So iBro and I don’t get along too well.  Apple and I don’t get along too well.  And that’s just it, that’s all Apple is as a company.

Apple = iBro

This is the part where I tell you to “think about it”.  The hardware is the same shit you can get in a PC, the software is the same shit you can get in a PC (you can even install OSX in a PC if you know what you’re doing).  Yes they break, and yes the warranty is annoying.  So what’s the difference?  What separates it from all of the other PC companies out there?

MARKETING!!!!!!

That’s it, that’s the ONLY difference.  It’s a double edged sword too.  You’re stuck with the proprietary bullshit, you need to update when they tell you too, you need to spend too much money on random stupid little bullshit, etc.  But that’s the cost of admission to the Apple ride:

Hey, that can be fun sometimes though right? Because here’s what you get out of it.  This is the big secret of Apple “dependability” so listen up.  Apple makes like five models of computers that they can charge out the ass for, and every other computer company makes a zillion that they outsource to China for as cheap as possible.  This allows Apple to make sure that the hardware all works internally, and works well with the software (that they write too).  Plus other companies can easily make sure that their products will work with EVERY Mac, because, frankly, it’s really not that hard.  And that’s all there is too it.  It’s not rocket science.

Don’t get me wrong, there is merit in that.  Lots of it, that’s why I hate Apple SLIGHTLY less than I hate HP, Dell, and Gateway.  But that doesn’t change the fact that there is nothing inherently better (or different really) about Macs than PC’s.  They each have their strengths and weaknesses, and neither one of them is flawless (FACT).  There are plenty of ways to get a computer that will be faster and work better than a Mac, but if you’d rather hang out with iBro and talk about how lame every one else is, go for it!

really.

Tags: apple, compare, comparison, dude, gap, guy, iBro, mac, macintosh, microsoft, osx, pc, special, the gap, wacintosh, windows

This entry was posted on Friday, November 7th, 2008 at 9:49 am and is filed under it's the little things that count. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.